Wow. That was one tough as run. I’ll get onto why in a minute :s Fiiiirstly, last night:
X FACTORRRRR!!! Oh my days, love it! I ate my dinner whilst watching 
Dinner itself – an old favourite. Kamut tagliatelle, with a tofu-peanut butter sauce – does it get much better!?? [No, is the correct answer. Unless it’s tempeh. With a cashew-banana-maple sauce……]
I very simply blended a serving of tofufu, and added in soy sauce, peanut butter, salt and mixed spice, plus a splash of water to thin (looks appetizing right!?):
And then gently heated it so it all came together:
I served it with the tagliatelle, loooads of celeriac and parsnip, broccoli and kabocha:
DrrrrrrrreaaaaaaaMEE. For an added carb hit, I had a Trek bar later on
——
Sunday
I woke up bright and early to fuel up for the 16 with a delicious bowl of oatmeal 
- 1/2 cup oats
- 1/2 c. milk
- 1/2 c. water
- mixed spice
- banana
- yogurt, stirred in at the end to cool it off
- toppings = peanut butter, museli, cereal,Grape Nuts
Just like old times :p
I alwaaaays forget how good oatmeal is, then I have it and am blown away by the deliciousness! Bring on the cold weather so I can have it more often 
I then digested/killed time for an hour or so (and had my wheat germ hit), before gearing up for the sixteen miles that lay before me…..
My mum and sister were SO sweet today – they know how I’ve been struggling with the running recently (probably due to my whining last night :p), and today, they tried really really hard to help out, cos they knew I was dreading it! My mum was there waiting for me to cheer at the end of my first 6mile loop. I did another 4miles, then Hannah ran 2 with me, and then she came out on her bike for the last 2 It meant so much! Just knowing someone was waiting for me made it 10gazillion times easier, mentally. I love them!
The run itself –
MY LEGS DID NOT HURT!!!!!!!
In fact, I think it’s all down to the Brooks! Big, big relief! I think it also helped that I slowed my pace down (9min/mile), which meant I didn’t need any walk breaks, and only a couple of stretches.
However….at mile 14ish, it all went wrong!
Remember in my half mary a few weeks back, and I got that nasty sick feeling? Well, that made a reappearance! It felt like I had one huge giant lump in my chest, which was constricting my breathing, and making me feel really, really nauseous. At mile 14.5, I had a mini meltdown..crying like mad for 3 or 4mins, cos I felt tremendously disappointed in myself for feeling so crap. Hannah bless her, talked to me and waited patiently and basically helped a ton, so we carried on (albeit slowly) and I finished.
The splits:
- 8.55
- 9.06
- 8.54
- 9.01
- 9.02
- 9.06 <- I stopped at the end of this mile and ate half a powerbar
- 9.00
- 9.05
- 9.02
- 9.05 <- other half of powerbar
- 9.16<- I did this mile with Hannah
- 9.01 <- alone
- 9.12 <- back with Hannah!
- 10.03 <- ate 2 dates at the end of this mile
- 9.42
- 10.55
(The powerbar was pretty good!! I liked it no idea if it was vegan cos I forgot to look, but at that point, I didn’t care! Oh, and aside from the food, I also drank just under a full bottle of Gatorade, as well as water)
Total = 16miles, 2hr28
Relieved to finish!
Those last 2 miles were the toughest ever though. I felt sooo horrible – although annoyingly, my legs felt great! It was JUST my chest! Arhghghghgh!!!
When I finished, I walked for 15mins with my mum to stretch off. I still felt so down though – all I could think was what a failure I was for having to stop, and for having to walk, and for feeling so bad with just 2miles to go. My mum pointed out I’m like that in every aspect of life – I just never feel good enough, be it riding, working, studying or running. I think it’s something to work on!
By the time we got inside, I still felt like I wanted to be sick. In fact, it took a good hour and a half before I could stomach anything :s Therefore, lunch was breakfast And EGM, with a gross pear instead of greenery:
A side of blackberries (in what I thought was a clean glass..apparently not!)
It was delicious..but I felt even worse after it! So bad in fact, I went to bed for 40mins, and just wrapped myself up in my quilt, feeling sick 
When I did get up, I felt a little better. I got some fresh air, wondered about, and then felt good enough for some more snacks
The apple was one step too far…it was acidic and made me feel totally rum for 20mins Lesson learnt!
Annnd now I’m going to go and prep some dinner. I’m actually leaning towards the exact dish I had last night, cos I want peanut butter, and I want carbs….hmm. Too many decisions!!
Question – do you suffer from negative self talk? How do you overcome it?
—–
Thank you soo much everyone who offered to do a food swap with me! I had about 8 people offer, soooo I think I’m gonna make a list, and do like, one swap a month or something? I want to swap with ALL of you, but obviously it can’t be done in one go It will happen though!
Ps – I rediscovered this Chika picture last night:
LOL! I love my baby
Pps – so cute! I banned cats from my room last night so I could get a good night of sleep (ie without Carter lying on my neck/burrowing under my quilt/pouncing on my feet), so they both camped outside my room, pressed against the door! Cutest. Thing. Ever.
I <3 Carter
I know comparing is bad but you just ran 16 miles in an hour less than it took me to run a half marathon – holy fastness!!
-CJ
Haha thank you
OMGZ X Factor!!!
Yes, I’m addicted. Wow, Bun ‘nd Cheese?
Awful much!?
I have some negative days too- I’m soooo hard on myself. What really helps me is to just stop thinking about myself entirely…chat with a friend, watch a movie, just push it out of your head. Just remind yourself how much of it is mental, and how amazing running 16 miles is in the first place!!
That’s really good advice!
Congrats on your run! Although you struggled a bit you should be super proud that you pulled through! I think if it were me I’d be so tempted to quit :S
Congrats on the 16 miles! Sorry about the mini meltdown though.
Love the photos of Chika and Carter, they look really cute!
Hope you have a great evening!
Congrats on the run girlie – you are going to rock your marathon and can i just say you have the longest legs in the world!!! Wish i looked as lovely as you when i am running!
LOL! Flattery sure is the way to my height
I’m really hard on myself, too – one thing goes wrong and I’m a failure…especially with riding!! I’ve become a lot better about it, and I think it’s just one of those things you slowly overcome as you build confidence and life experiences…it’s not just going to disappear! I think it’s remarkable that you’re even marathon training – so much more than I!! So don’t let it get you down. Like Gabriela said – how awesome is it that you are running that far in the first place?! Pretty awesome
I’m glad (although, not at the same time, cos it sucks) someone else does it too. You have wise words!
Yup, same here. Was trying to do 7 miles last week when I got a sharp pain in my leg (it had been niggling for a while) and had to stop and hobble home feeling very dejected and sorry for myself. Eventually I managed to remind myself that a few weeks ago, 5 miles was a big deal to me! Managed the 7 yesterday! It’s a very fine balance between challenging ourselves to do our best and being kind to ourselves. Remember, you are achieving something that very few people even think about, let alone do
Jx
Well done on your 7miler, that’s super!!
And those are some smart things you said
thank you!
There are two things I do to get the negative talk out of my head: 1. I sit down with a really good friend (or my sister) and get it all out. Not only does this good friend listen, they do a good job of pointing out my good qualities and building me up, while calling me on being unnecessarily harsh on myself.
2. I write down all my negative thoughts in a paper journal. And unless I’m having a particularly rough day and need to talk to a friend, that journal is the only place those negative thoughts can be. However, for every negative thought I write down, I also have to write down two positives to help me get in the habit of thinking more positively.
Those work for me – maybe they’ll be helpful for you, too! Personally, I think you did a marvelous job, though I completely understand the frustration of suddenly not feeling your best when you’re doing something important.
That is really, really good advice! Especially the 2nd one – I like that a lot
thank you ever so!
Sorry that you feel so crummy! I hope that that settles down soon.
I love X factor- can’t wait for Boot camp to start though, I’m getting bored of the audition stage!
That tofu-peanut butter sauce looks so yummy- perfect comfort food!
I can be negative too but try to think about long term things- remember that massive list of goals you have achieved this year! That is truly amazing and something you can remind yourself of when you’re feeling down.
Good point!
Ah, X factor, u know its coming into autumn/winter when saturday nights are spent in front of the telly.
Well done on you 16 miler, thats such an achievement.
I used to be terrible for neg self talk, Im not too bad now. Basically, I realised over time that what I was asying just wasnt true, I looked at my actions towards others, the way I treat others, myself as a whole and I saw that I am not a bad person. I find looking at the ‘bigger picture’ makes how I view myself in a better way and therefore I stopped beating myself up when I felt like I ‘wasnt good enough’
xx
Looking at the bigger picture – great advice!
Everyone has those bad days where they talk themself down. I hate those days, though I’ve had quite a few of them lately, since I have moved out. Congrats on your run though, 16miles is so far! I hope you feel better:)
Cute Chika picture, good to see her again
Have a good one
- Jenn
Hi Freya, I have just found your blog and I am loving seeing some English perspective on healthy living!!
Massive well done on completing your run. I find negative self-talk a really hard issue too and I think the best quick fix is to turn it on it’s head. ie: focusing on what you DID do rather than what you didn’t. I mean, how amazing is it that you can get up and feel motivated and actually cover the distance! That is still so far away for me, and reading about other people doing it is completely inspiring so you should be really proud of what you DID do today
That is really, really smart advice! I like you, keep coming back to my blog please
Congrats on the 16 miles
That’s freaking awesome!!
First, I tell myself how lucky I am to be physically capable to even run and do “normal” physical movement unlike some other unfortunate people who’ve lost body parts or are ill. And I also like to figure out why I’m feeling negative and what’s the reason behind my bad feelings. In “Eat, Pray, Love” which I love, in the India section, Elizabeth Gilbert discusses the idea of recognizing negative thoughts, analyzing the reasons behind them, then dismissing them. It’s hard but you have CONTROL over your thoughts.
You’re super amazing
And you ran 16 miles which is more than most people can even fathom doing in a week much less 1.5hrs!!
I’ve heard a lot about this Eat, Pray, Love book…it seems like it’s quite life changing!?
hey, long time reader first time commenter! 16 miles is an AMAZING achievement which about 99.9% of the people on this planet probably couldn’t even dream of doing even if they stopped to walk every 3 seconds so don’t be so harsh on yourself, you’ve done so amazingly!
(one small thing, i’m a bit confused about your total time: don’t those splits add up to more in the region of 2h 26mins? 16 miles in 1h 28 would be a five & a half minute mile pace! sorry, don’t want to take away from your achievement – because just to reiterate IT IS INCREDIBLE! – just a wee bit baffled!)
Oops – yes you’re right, typo! Thanks for pointing it out
CONGRATS on your run! We all have negative days and negative thoughts but I think the important thing is that we don’t let it bring us down for too long. You are awesome!
Awwh
Well done on completing your run when you could have been temptedto stop short- that is an achivement in itself!
You do seem to be hard on yourself- maybe you should have mini goals for each training run or each week, so that you achieve most of them- e.g run 16 miles with walk breaks, run 16 miles, run 16 miles in (insert your speedy time here), refuel during run, take on liquid during run and so on? Then when you look back you will see all the positives, as you are achieving a lot!
That’s really good advice – mini goals are much more achievable
Good stuff!
You are pretty darn amazing to simply be running all those miles at once, period!!
I find it’s easy to get sucked into negative self-talk when you lose touch with the larger perspective… but take a step back and look at how incredible it is that you’re training like this in the first place – because it IS!! – and try to keep that overarching accomplishment in mind when evaluating these day-to-day goals.
Thank you hun
Aww, don’t be so hard on yourself. You did an awesome job on your run; 16 miles is no mean feat and many people wouldn’t even dream of being able to run that far, walk breaks or not. Just try to think about how far you’ve come, not just with running but in life in general.
You food is very inspirational – going to try out some of your EGMs!
That dinner looks absolutely amazing!
I agree that you’re being way too hard on yourself. You are accomplishing some amazing feats! I know how easy it is for that negative self-talk to creep in, but keep fighting it!
Yeh..after 20 or so people telling me I’m being harsh, maybe they have a point!?
Sorry to hear about those last 2 miles
I get exactly the same symptoms when I physically push my body too much.
I can’t believe though how hard you were on yourself! Girl, you have come SUCH a long way and I think it’s AMAZING how much you’ve accomplished in so little time. I know it’s normal to have our ups and downs, but be reassured that you have nothing to feel bad about, you’re an inspiration!
Thank you soo much for such a lovely comment!!
If we were trees you would be a really tall palm tree filled with coconuts and I would be a humble great oak with badgers making dens in my roots xxx
LOL!
Sorry you had a rough end to your run! Something to help you through your long runs is visualising what it will be like to cross the finish line of your marathon after having run 26.2 miles! I’m sure that feeling of accomplishment will be so worth all of these nasty runs for sure.
I used to suffer a lot from negative self talk but I’ve somehow manage to flip the way I think in every situation. I can now see the positive of a situation no matter how bad it it is. For example, you are upset that you began to feel sick around mile 14. The way I see it is that you should be so greatful for your body for letting run 14 miles! Some people are unable to run for a minute straight let alone well over 2 hours!
Keeping a positive mind can get you through ANYTHING! On your next run you could try thinking of all the positive things about your run. Look at how pretty the trees are or be proud of how strong your legs are to enable you to run long distances. It’s OK to feel disappointed in yourself, but beating yourself up about something out of your control isn’t going to help anything
I hope you feel better today!!!!
Much love,
Katy
xxx
Ok, seriously, you are like the wisest commenter ever! Not only did your quote yesterday really help me today, but what you just wrote makes a heck of a lot of sense, and is very very wise. Yay!
YAY! I’m so glad that quote helped you in some way coz I was hoping that it would
I love your blog by the way! You’re an awesome blogger. I knew from your journal on the skinny website that you would make an awesome food blogger some day and here you are! You have made Poppet very proud
xxx
I know exactly what you mean about the self-negativeness! But, to put yours in some perdpective (always easier to do it for someone else!) I’d say go back and look at your recent post (can’t remember when it was, sorry) about how far you’ve come in the last nine months and then bask in how much you’ve achieved.
And I couldn’t even run 16 YARDS, let alone miles : )
Thank you – that’s good advice!
Perspective, even – what’s perdpective?! : )
Lol :p
I am so proud of you that you finished. I, like you, never feel like I’m “good enough” – I think the husband gets so mad at me whenever I have mini melt downs and say “I can never do anything right!!”
Girl, you ROCK! 16 miles? that is NO JOKE. For real. I would KILL to run 1 mile, much less 16! You’re one lucky lady and I know it sucks sometimes but you love it deep down…. it’s in your heart. And you freaking amazing at it!! I suffer from negative self talk too and you just have to counteract every negative thought with a positive thought.
As for running, I would always think of positive things when it started to get rough… like being thankful for being able to run, appreciating the beautiful weather, the scenery, etc.
Love you!
Yes, I should be thankful that I can run, it’s a good point!! Thank you for the sweet comment
Hey girl! I’ve been reading your blog for a few weeks now (you have some great stuff on here!) As a rider myself, I like that you combine posts about food, fitness, and horses (yay!!)…I just wanted to say that I’m amazed you ran 16 miles! Just think of the great things that your body did! I have never run more than 5 miles straight in my entire life, so 16 miles is just unbelievable! You should be really proud of yourself!
New commenter, horse rider, wise words writer – I like you!!
Link is officially banned from my bed at night now too. I can’t take the incessant toe biting and comforter scratching. Not to mention the meowing for food that begins at 4 am!!
Lol! They’re worse than small children
So sorry that you had a tough time, BUT you did amazingly well!!! Phew, I DREAM of running 16 miles, and when I get there I will just be so thrilled that I won’t mind whether I had to walk a bit or stop. You have come so far! Keep it up Freya- and I don’t just mean the running, I mean that for all aspects of life
I feel with you on the negative self talk, it’s something I’m working on as well.
When I notice I’m doing it, I really try to get back into the moment, thinking that the present is perfect just the way it is and that it couldn’t be any other way, simply because it isn’t. So getting worked up about it isn’t going to change anything, apart from making me frustrated and unhappy! Sorry, if I’m not making much sense here, but it works for me. I then try to really focus on the positive (and I believe there’s something positive to be taken from any situation) and on the things I CAN do or DID do, instead of beating myself up over what I couldn’t or didn’t do.
And I believe there’s also a positive spin on the negative self-talk, not the ‘nst’ in itself, gosh no, but it shows that you are very determined, quite the perfectionist (?) and always trying to improve yourself which I don’t think are bad attributes. These will prove to come in handy for achieving your dreams and being successful in whatever you put your mind to! And from what I’ve been reading, you have already achieved a lot and are on course to realizing your dreams! I don’t know how, but try to use these attributes to your advantage and not to beat yourself up.
Urgh, I hope this doesn’t sound totally weird!?
It’s funny, I don’t ‘really’ know you, but I am soooo proud of you and proud to have you as a ‘bloggie-friend’…even though I don’t even have a blog, so I hope I count as one anyway?!
Yeah…I guess this is another one of the ‘oh, I’ll just send Freya a quick comment-comments’
Btw, Carter is tooooo cute and so is Chika, in a yeehaw- wild-west-kinda-way
And I think it’s so sweet of your mum and sister to come out and cheer you on and support you!
Hope you’re having a great day today!
Oh I love love your advice! Seriously, that’s all so helpful
and you’re bang on the mark – I’m a total perfectionist! I’m trying to see it as a good thing though 
And of course, you are a bloggy friend!!
Really appreciate that comment
Congrats on making it through 16 miles! Try to focus on all the good things about the run- like that your shins didn’t hurt. Maybe you aren’t getting enough salt? Electrolyte imbalance could make you feel really light headed. It’s worth talking to someone about anyway- it would be an easy fix…
Yes, focus onn good stuff – good tip!
It’s not a salt/electrolyte thing; I’ve seen a nutritionist ad we talked about it, and I make sure I drink a proper sports drink to keep my levels up
[...] thing though – cos it means I had it on Sunday, which may explain my struggles at the end of the 16miler!! [...]
I’ve been reading your blog for awhile but kind of kept in the shadows since I didn’t have one of my own! Your a huge inspiration and to push through a long run like that when your feeling like s***t really shows how strong you are. I’ve been having trouble with training lately mostly due to over training and undernourishment. I hope to follow your example and be in tip top shape for my January marathon!
Good luck for your next run!
If you decide to do it and stay strong, you will
Good luck! I hope it goes well 
[...] has been really tough 16 mile [...]